A Really Funny Jett Story....

So last night all of my kids were at my moms house. I showed up to a neighborhood full of kids in their front yard. The kids were trying to be really nice for my mom, and plant some veggies for next year. Sweet ugh? Well, they decided that they were going to go next door to the neighbors garden. They all began to pick his left over habanero peppers. EEEEE hahhahahaha Connor and Caiden had no clue what they were messing with. They played with the peppers for a short time only to find out that they were really hot. ahhahaha About 15 mins after I got home, Caiden came running inside crying. No... Realllllly Crrryying ahhahaha He had picked his nose. hahahhaha Well the habanero pepper oil was all over his hands and now inside his nose. I should have been more compassionate towards him, but I just couldn't help but laugh. So we got a wash cloth full of water. Caiden then begins to suck the water through his nose to try to get the burn to go away. All to find out, it didn't work. So.... Mom to the rescue. I say hey lets fill the sink with water. Then we will stick his head in the water. Trying to figure out how we were going to get the burn to go away. We did just that. All the while he is still crying and I am holding back my laughter. I pick him up and he is doing a hand stand into the kitchen sink. His feet are to the ceiling and he begins to put his head into the water. I then LOSE IT!!!! Laughing so hard that I think my mom and I are going to die. The louder we laughed the madder he got. ahhahhahahhaha mean I know. I couldn't help it. Caiden was blowing into the water, to then suck the water back in. It could have made us a million dollars on Americas Funniest Home Videos. But, I didn't have a camera. So now you get the mental picture to laugh with me. hahahhaha Then about 10 mins later, Connor comes in yelling about his nose and eyes burning. Yep you got it, he had done the same thing. I am telling you, the Jetts can't keep there figures out of their noses. ahhahahha This will be a story they will tell for the rest of their lives. Only in the life of the Jett household. :) I love it!!!!

It hit me right where I was at.....

I am going through a lot right now. So much so, it is kind of overwhelming. I am just coming off of the 2 year anniversary with the death of Scott and many other crazy life things going on. I opened my bible tonight to a passage of scripture that I have read and known for many years. 1 Cor. 13..... The Looooove Chapter. hahhaha It was just what I needed to hear. It starts out with describing what love is and isn't. Love never gives up, cares more for others than for self, doesn't want what it doesn't have, doesn't strut, have a swelled head, force itself on others. Isn't always me first. Doesn't fly off the handle, keep score, revel when others grovel. It doesn't take pleasure in the flowering of truth. It puts up with anything. TRUSTS GOD ALWAYS. Always looks for the best, doesn't look back, KEEPS GOING TO THE END! Now that is a mouth full of stepping on my toes.

Then it goes on to say Love NEVER dies. Good stuff!!!!

Now to the part that hit me. I have been really struggling with knowing the details of where and why, I am, where I am. I want to know the future and see hope somewhere. In verse 9 of the Message it says "understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always in complete. BUT, when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be cancelled."

Meaning we can't see the situation at hand in its entirety. We have to trust God. We have to know and believe that He will complete what we can't see. We need Him to complete our situations in life. That is what faith and trusting Him is all about.

It goes on to say in verse 12 "We don't see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. (My favorite... I am clamming this) BUT IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE THE WEATHER CLEARS AND THE SUN SHINES BRIGHT!!!!! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"

O dear Jesus, would you please allow this storm to pass. And the blessings of your clear blue sky and bright, eye squinching sun to shine down on my life. I long for you to get this storm out of the way and the blessings to fall around me, in ways I could have never imagined.

The last section of this chapter says this... "But for right now, until that completeness, we have 3 things to do to lead us toward that consummation:

1. TRUST steadily in God

2. HOPE unswervingly

3. LOVE extravagantly

All of which do not come easily. They are easy to say and a lot harder to do. I have to trust that God loves me enough to lead, guide and direct my every move. Because I am putting Him first in my life. I have to hope that I am not really missing the mark on the decisions that I am making. And go back to trusting in THE God that is leading me. Then I have to love God first and foremost. So that I am able to love those around me and the "one" that God has for me in the future. Love doesn't take hurt away. But it does give me hope for the future.

Where are we, 2 years later?

WOW! I can't believe that it has been 2 years since I lost the man of my dreams. It has been a true roller coaster ride. So many good times and so many bad times. I have realized that the first year was survival. I thought the first year was going to be the hardest. Man was I wrong. The second year was reality. Reality is a lot harder to except than survival. So many emotions and hardships that have to be overcome. The reality of doing things on your own. Or even the simple tasks at home that need to be done. I have had an amazing support system along the way. My parents are incredible. I couldn't do what I do, as a mom and keep up, without them. Yet, getting the all of the kids homework done, dinner on the table, kids sports practices, then bathed and in bed, all to realize you are on your own. Better yet... disciplining 5 kids, that is hard. Before I got to be the easy one. Now, I have to be the hard one. I have to be the one to say NO! Ugh! That is hard for a momma that wants to give her kids all that they want and think they need. But, with the Lords help, I have made it so far. I have watched my kids overcome and survive an incredible dent in their life. They are full of energy and laughter, just like any other kid their age. They push my buttons and sometimes get away with it. Others not so much. I have had to figure out when they are using their hardship for their advantage and when they are truly hurting. Sometimes it is tricky. :) However, I am calling their bluff just as much as they are calling mine. haha

Connor is 11 and in 5th grade. This is the first year that he has started school with a smile on his face for the first time in 2 years. He is the Elementary School Treasurer for Stuco. He is one of the most thoughtful kids I have ever seen. He is always making sure that everyone in the family is taken care of. I have to constantly put him in his place, he is not the dad. He is the oldest brother. I do my best to make sure that he still gets to be a kid. He is in the middle of playing soccer. He chose to have the number 33 for his number. The age of Scott when he died. We talk about him as much as the kids are willing.

Caiden is 9 and in 4th grade. He is the Class Rep for stuco. He is a true leader. He loves to hunt and fish. The boy is so much like Scott it is scary. Anything he touches it turns to gold. He has a gift. I pray that he will use his talent in sports for the Lord. He is very sensitive to the Lord. I love it. He also, is playing soccer. He chose to have 4 as his number. The number 4 is Scott's favorite number. Caiden does his best to keep Scott's memory alive.

Grace is a girly girl. Yet, she can fight with the best of boys. She is 6 and in first grade. She is in gymnastics and playing soccer as well. That girl keeps my on my toes. I pray for her because she is just like her momma. Please pray for her too. hahha She knows what she wants and she goes for it.

Coltin, O my where do I start? He is Scott Jett on steroids. That boy is so full of personality and energy it kills me. He keeps me spinning, and I still can't keep up. Everyone laughs at him. He is extremely loud and very vocal. He is now 3 and in preschool. That poor teacher has her hands full. hahaha

Christian is now 1 1/2. The same age as Coltin was when Scott died. He is starting to really show his personality. He is very strong willed and has a temper. He will fight for whatever he wants. He is gaining his independence. He likes to do it for himself. I can't believe he is a toddler now and the baby days are over. I am excited to see his personality come together as he starts to talk.

Me....????? I am not sure where to start. I have come to a place that I am okay with Scott being gone. I don't like it. However, I am excepting the fact, he is where I long to be one day.... Heaven. I miss him like crazy. I miss the fun crazy times and long talks that we would have. But, I would much rather, be where he is right now. I am glad the survival and reality stages are over. I am hoping and praying that the third year, is one of finding my craziness and happiness again. I look forward to being a little wild and adventurous again. (Within the Christian standards of course ahhaha) I have decided that it is time for me. For the last 2 years it has been about my kids. I have for the most part, set them as priority. My needs coming last. Now it is time for Cori. I want to do what feels good for me. Things I like to do. I don't know what that looks like. Maybe date :) That sounds like fun. Yes, I have been on a couple of dates. Don't think about asking :) Cuz this girl isn't going to talk. hahahha I know the Lord told me, the man of my dreams at 32, is going to look much different, than the man of my dreams at 19. And that, I am okay with. I am praying and believing that God is going to lead, guide and direct me in all I do.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. They are working. I feel the strength of the Lord in my life. He is and has been speaking to me. I long to please and live for Him. He is my ultimate priority in life. I want to see Him glorified. He is an amazing God, that loves me and you like crazy. I may not understand Why? or How come? But, I do find comfort in knowing He is in control of my life. No matter what happens He is going to take care of me. All I have to do is trust Him and His ways. Through everything I have been through the last 2 years, I know I am a very blessed girl!!!!

I am in the palm of the Lord's hand!

Recently I have had some new adventures come up in my life. Decisions and choices that will be made. I fear making the wrong move in my life. I not only have my life to worry about messing up, I have 5 amazing lives depending on my every move. I do not want to do anything that would jeopardize my children's lives or walk with the Lord. Let alone create a mess for me. I am and have been seeking the Lord with all that I have. I am praying that he lead, guide and direct me in all I say and do. I really have been fretting over making wrong choices and decisions in life. So last night I asked the Lord to give me something to stand on. This may sound odd, but.... When I ask the Lord to do that, I just open the bible to wear it lands. I know some would say that is crazy. However, most of the time it helps me right where I am. This particular night I opened to Psalms 139.

Thank you Lord!!!!

Verse 1-5 "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me."

That brought total comfort to me. God knows my every move. He knows all of my thoughts and fears. He even knows what I am going to say and do before I do.

Verse 9-10 "If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

No matter what, as long as I continue to seek him.... He WILL guide my every move! All of my days have been ordained by God.

Verse 16 "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Verse 17 is my heart!!!! "How precious to me are you thoughts, O God!"

Verse 23-24 are right where I am at... "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and LEAD ME in the way everlasting!!!!!!!!!"

I/we have to remember that if we are putting God first, he is going to lead us. Matt. 6:33 "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you." Seek God first and then He will take care of everything else. Matt 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So I AM DONE WORRYING ABOUT MY EVERY MOVE!!! God is with me and He is going to lead and guide me in all of my ways.

The second half is going to be even better

Tonight, for the first time in almost 2 years, I am feeling up beat. I have felt like the life God gave me was kind of a cursed one. I lost the love of my life and now raising 5 kids on my own (with parental help). WOW! That is all that I can say. My brother in law got cancer. My brother got cancer. I still am not sure how much more I can take. But, I have now got some glimpse of hope. I have had it the whole time just afraid of claiming it. I have had to come to some really hard realizations in life and with God. I have had to examine where I am and what I believe. Some, I like and most I don't. But they are truths to who and what God is in my life. I am going to stick with God NO MATTER WHAT!!!! HE is the love of my life!!! Without God I really have nothing. He completes it all! He is my Rock and my Redeemer!!!! Okay, so back to the why I am talking about all of this......

Since the day that Scott died, I have felt like Job (in the bible) and was very discouraged. Job lead a difficult life. One that was full of suffering. A life I was and am afraid to be like. I didn't want any more suffering. I felt like if I admitted that I felt like Job, God might bring on more suffering. I am scared to death of more suffering. BUT, then today I read Job 42. The very last chapter. WOW! I feel more encouraged today than I felt in almost 2 years. God blessed Job. I know I have known and been taught that. But, in the midst of my trials I obviously put that in the back of my brain. The bible says in chapter 42:12 "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first." I felt like God showed me that he is going to bless me beyond my wildest dreams. Then it says what all Job had been given..... 42:12-13 "He had 4000 sheep, 6000 camels, and a 1000 yoke of oxen and a 1000 donkeys. And he also had 7 sons and 3 daughters." Not only did God bless Job emotionally, he blessed him in his family as well as financially. God blessed and rewarded him in ways that he couldn't dream!!!! All because of his undenying love and faithfulness to the Lord in the midst of suffering! I can only hope and pray that I can uphold the same undenying love and faithfulness to the most amazing God!

O, Lord please as I claim this chapter on my life. Let me see your hand and will for my life unfold in ways I never thought possible. I love you Lord with all of my heart!!! You are my everything. Thank you in advance for you blessings and love! AMEN!!!

What are we focused on?

Tonight I was talking to a friend. He politely said that he thought I was a negative person. That STUNG! I had to do some soul searching. I really had to see if I was reacting in a negative light. I don't think I am a negative person. I do think I am a realist. hahhaha With that said.....

I have been looking at my circumstances in life. I have focused on all that is going on around me that I have lost sight of my purpose. Even while typing this, I am still a work in progress. I still see the situation at hand no matter how I look at it. I still do not have a husband or a father for my children. I have many other obstacles that I am dealing with on a daily basis. There is no way around those. However, my main focus, should out way my daily situations that I am going through. My hope does not come from what I see. By keeping my eyes on what I am going through is only making me feel defeated and deserted. I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. No where to turn and no one to go to. Those are all feelings! Scott would always say... "You can't help how you feel. But, you can help how you act." Those are great words of wisdom.

2 Cor. 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is TEMPORARY, but what is unseen is ETERNAL!"

I have got to turn my eyes back to the Lord and his purposes in my life. I have to look to him.

Matt. 7:33 "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you."

When I look to him first, he will take care of my every need. I have nothing to worry about.

Matt. 7:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life."

2 Cor. 5:7 "We live by FAITH, not by SIGHT."

Heb. 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see."

Are you certain in what you do not see? Are you confident in the God? Do you know he is who he says he is?

Without a doubt.... I believe he is an amazing God. A caring, loving, compassionate, jealous God!!!

Heb. 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful!"

Heb. 10:35 "Do not throw away your CONFIDENCE, it will richly be rewarded."

Our confidence is believing God is who he says he is, and he will do what he says he will do.

Heb. 10:36 "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

Ps. 25:15 "My eyes are ever on the Lord for only he will release my feet from the snare!!!!"

All of that to say....

When we take our eyes off of the things of the Lord, we lose sight of what our purpose is. Just like I told my kids the night of the accident..... As soon as we have told ALL of the people we are suppose to tell about God, we get to go home. We have a mission... It is about the kingdom of God and his will being done here on earth. It is not about our circumstances that we are in.

I wrote my story out for a website, that is for young widows. Here is what I wrote....

I was called into ministry my Junior year of High School. I started my journey at Central Bible College. It was there that I meet the biggest dork on campus, Scott Jett. He was crazy fun and willing to do anything that made a scene. He was shorter than I was. So, that next to the crazy personality was a no way. But the more that I spent time with him, more I started to fall for him. After hanging out for about 6 mos., we decided that we would date exclusively. It was 6 mos. later that we decided to get married. I had meet the biggest dork on campus and he was now going to be "my" dork. I know that sounds mean. However, if you knew him, you would know he really was just that. We got married on January 3, 1998. From there we headed into youth ministry. We became youth pastors the summer of 1998. That was a journey that was very hard and trying for us to go through. We experienced things that were not what ministry was about. We were getting very discouraged, yet tried to find the light of what God had us going through. During this time we found out that I was pregnant. We had only been married for 9 mos. when we found out. At that point, God told us it was time to move on. Scott, felt like God was calling him to get his masters in counseling. The problems that we were facing in ministry were more than what we could handle on our own. So, we headed to Kansas City to start our family and his masters program. Along the way we started a traveling drama group with the local youth group and added another son. As soon as Scott's masters was complete, we headed to Springfield. It was there that he finished all of his counseling hours. While in Springfield, we added a daughter and another son. Making our total 3 boys and a girl. We were living on a farm. We were city folk gone country over night. He had just started his new journey at Central Bible College in the fall of 2008. He was their Youth Ministries Professor. He loved it!!!!! We just bought a new home, off of the farm. It was 2 weeks after moving in our new home that we found out I was expecting our 5th baby. I had mixed emotions about having another baby. But, Scott was so excited.

During this part of our journey in life we sought God for every move that we made. We made him our number one priority in our lives. We started dreaming and casting vision for what we wanted to do for God. We really wanted to help desperate and hurting youth. We had started being inner room pastors, to help out local churches. We, just wanted to serve. Scott was all about relationships. The more we could make relationships with the local communities the more opportunities we would have to share the gospel with them.

Our family life was the "All American Dream". Really we had everything. We would call each other several times a day, just to say we wanted to hear one another's voice. Anytime Scott would leave he wanted to make sure I was the last one that he would kiss. Even if one of the kids would run outside for another kiss, he would come back inside to kiss me last. He wanted the kids to know that mommy was number one. It was the small things that we did that made the most impact in our marriage. He would always show me his love in front of people. Even if it embarrassed me. He loved to call me his Hottie Momma. He was always complimenting me. The kids and I would go to his word to see him on a regular basis. We would bring him lunch or something sweet. It was short and simple things that we did to show each other we loved one another. During our fights we would always try to attack the problem not each other. That was not always possible, but we tried. Our marriage life was not always easy and glamorous. We did have our spats and frustrations. However, it is how we handled those fights that made us stronger. Over the years our love grew stronger and stronger. Every night before bed Scott would tell me how beautiful I was and how blessed he was to have me. I would always tell him he was the man of my dreams. I know with out a shadow of a doubt that our love was real and strong. We fought for our love!!!

On Friday Sept 5th I was the cool wife. I bought my husband a motorcycle and all of his gear. I showed up in his classroom with all of his gear. He was soooo excited! (He was getting the motorcycle regardless of who bought it for him) That Sunday, we found out that his sister's husband had cancer. It was not a curable type of cancer. That Friday Sept. 12, 2008, Scott came home ready to ride his bike for the first time. He was begging me to let him go ride it. He told me it was only going to be 20 minutes and that he would be right back. I told him his 20 minutes are like 2 hours. He kissed me good bye. Little did I know that was the last kiss that I would get from him. He died 10 mins after that. He hit a car head on. We are not sure what happened. It looked as though he might have had a front tire blow out. That is an answer that I will never have. The kids and I showed up on the scene. I was told what had happened. Instantly, I got the kids out of the car and sat on the side of the road and prayed. I prayed for wisdom and guidance. I then told my kids that Daddy got to go home to be with Jesus. His work here on earth was done. He had told everyone that he was suppose to tell, about Jesus. I then explained to them that we had to finish the work that daddy started. We needed to tell as many people about Jesus and what he has done for us. And once we told everyone that we were suppose to tell, we would get to go be with daddy. And until that day we ARE GOING TO FIGHT for what Jesus did for us and who your daddy was. I felt lead to speak at the funeral. I wanted Scott Jett to go out with a bang. And, I want you to know that he did just that!!! There were a couple of thousand people there. What a blessing and a testimony of who Scott was! I was beaming with pride for the man of my dreams. He would have been so shocked to see the impact that he had on the people that he came in contact with. They had the roads blocked and police escorts for us. AMAZING!

From that point on my life has drastically been changed.

It was 6 weeks after the accident that we found out that my little brother had cancer. It was another fight that we were going to have to fight. He then moved in with my kids and I. There were 3 surgeries that he had to have in a 2 month period. One of those being extremely serious. We found out that he had Hodgkins Lymphoma. Just after we found this news out, we received news that Joyce Meyer was going to come and do a show on my story. That was an amazing experience. I felt like God was giving me a purpose for Scott's death. I felt like his death was being used for God's glory. It empowered me to go on, knowing that God was using this to further his kingdom. It was just after that when we received word that I was going to be given a car from Joyce Meyer Ministries. What a blessing!!!! Who would have thought that all of these things were going to happen to me?

It has been a very blessed road. At the same time, I am in a fight of a life time. I am trying to make sure that my children have an amazing life. I don't want them to have any reason to blame God. I want them to see the blessings that God has given us. I have made sure that their life style stay as much the same as possible. I coached their soccer games the day after the accident. The kids wanted to play for their daddy, who was their coach. So, I made it happen! We went. Not only have I stepped up to help them in their journey, so has this community. They are so well taken care of by everyone that they are going through this process in a healthy way. If I was to say one thing that helped my kids along the way, it would be having them draw as many pictures as the could. Any time they would start crying, I would allow them to cry and when they were done, I would have them draw me a picture. I would have them save those pictures in their "Daddy boxes". Their daddy boxes are for all of the things that remind them of their daddy. Those are just a few of the things that I did for them.

I am very blessed. I don't like where I am at. However, I find joy in where I am at. God never said that this life was going to be easy. He did promise us that He would never leave us nor forsake us. I had to come to grips with why I was serving God. Was I serving him for what He does for me? Or was I serving him because of what He did for me? If God never did another thing for me, was Him sending his son to earth to die on the cross for me, enough for me to serve Him? My answer... YES! No matter what, I will continue to serve my Lord with the best of my ability!!!!

Compromises

Lately has been pretty rough. I have had to watch 2 of my best friends fall from leadership within the church. All of us have seen and watched people who proclaim to be christians, fall. Because of this, so many people that are not strong in their faith, fall. Because of their eyes being on man. When their/our eyes NEED to be on God. "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord." Jer. 17:5 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Jer. 17:7
The bible talks about the very elect falling away. The very elect being the very strong christian. We ask how does that happen? Why does such an amazing, Godly man or women fall? We say they preached the word and with conviction. How? Why? "In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who GUARDS HIS SOUL stays far from them." Prov. 22:5 We have got to guard our walk with the Lord. "DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD." Eph. 4:27 The definition of a foothold is this.... a secure position from which further progression may be made. Let me give you another word.... COMPROMISE. We all think that a small compromise is no big deal. Which at that point in our walk with the Lord, it may not be. However, when we add continually to those compromises, the load at which we carry becomes extremely heavy. We carry the load of our compromises as we try to follow the Lord. We continue to think we can have the best of both worlds. We think we can walk the fence line and get away with it. "So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you our of my mouth." Rev. 3:16 The fact of the matter is, that we keep adding compromises to our walk. Before we know it we are walking on our knees. Then we are laying on the ground and we can't get up. All of a sudden we realize that we have lost our salvation. The sad part, we have no idea at what point we lost it. We don't know when, we stopped relying on the Lord and relied on ourselves.
Here is another revelation for you.... We are no better than the elect that are falling away from the Lord. They are no better than we are. We are all on the same playing ground. The only difference, is the compromises that we guard or allow into our lives. For the one that guards his relationship with the Lord will have eternal life. And the one that doesn't live a repentant life, will not inherit the kingdom of God. The next question is how do we respond to the one that has fallen? Regardless of how extreme the sin might be. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, "I repent, FORGIVE HIM." Luke 17:3-4 So the answer is FORGIVE and treat them with kindness and love and respect. "Those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline." Rev. 3:19 In this scripture it says I, meaning God. It doesn't say YOU! God's punishment and discipline is far greater and more effective than what we could ever do. When we put YOU in place of I, IT WILL DAMAGE THE PERSON! I don't want to get to heaven and have God tell me... If you would have left well enough alone, and treated them with kindness and love, "THEY" would have made it to heaven. Our lashing out at people who sin and repent, is because we have feelings that have been hurt. And when back bitting enters, people get hurt and some loose their salvation. All because our feelings were hurt. We have to let God do is job and we need to do our job.... PRAY!!!! Anger, back bitting and malicious talk, only get in the way of what God is trying to do. He is trying to make sure that each one of us ENTER THE KINGDOM!!!! Let him do the work and we need to stop trying to be god. We are human hands. When someone looses their salvation it can only be fixed by God's hands. Our prayers, love and kindness is what will help. I hope I have made since and helped all of you (I am talking to myself too) along this journey called life... Our christian life!!!!

A friend asked me to talk about Marriage and Family life.

One of the things that I have had to deal with is; God never said this life was going to be easy. He did promise us that he would never leave us or forsake us. The pace of our lives are so out of control. We are juggling so many aspects to our marriages and families.
Sports
Music Lessons
Homework
Laundry
Dishes
Sweeping/mopping/dusting
Doctors/dentist offices
Grocery shopping
One on one time with our kids
church
When we look at all of these things that we do on a daily basis (and so many more); we tend to forget and over look our time with our spouse. We so often give our kids priority over our lives that we neglect our spouse. We wonder why conversation is low. We don't understand why we don't have a sexual desire anymore. Let me let you in on a little secret.... You/we have neglected to spend quality one on one with our spouse. We have lost sight of the relationship that needs the most care. We have viewed our kids as the "needy" ones. When we need to change our focus. It needs to be on our MARRIAGES!!! It is the relationship that takes the most work, yet is the most rewarding. We take care of our kids way before we take care of our man. Yet, our kids are not going to see a health marriage being first. They are going to see a healthy marriage when they know that mommy and daddy are willing to put each other above them. It is going to take effort on your part. I believe that we should be a servant to our spouse. I didn't say a slave. A servant is someone who chooses to serve. I believe that love is a choice not a feeling. In the same manor servanthood is a choice. When we become a servant we take care of the one we are serving. This aspect goes for both men and women.
Going on about all of the things we need to do in a day, I purposely left out the most important thing. Our walk with the Lord HAS GOT TO BE NUMBER ONE!!!!!! We have got to make sure that we are spending time with Him. God has to be priority above all else. When He is first, all else will fall into place. He will give us the strength and patience that we need to get through every day.
Just thinking about all of the pressure we have just in a day, is overwhelming. Yet we do it day in and day out. It becomes routine and we don't think about it. I am saying that we need to think about what we are doing everyday. Making sure that our relationship with the Lord is taken care of, and that our spouse's needs are met. Let me a sure you that our children will not be neglected by putting God or our spouse ahead of them. They will benefit and profit from those relationships!!!
One story.... Before my husband died this is what he did everyday. Any time he would leave the kids and I, he would kiss everyone and I was ALWAYS last. That meant if he was out to the car and a kid ran to get another kiss, he got out and came back inside to kiss me last. That may sound silly. But my kids knew that mommy was first in daddy's life. They remember him doing that to this day. It made an impression on them!!! They saw the security in our relationship.
Here is another one.... Anytime Scott would go into a gas station he would always bring me out my favorite chocolate candy. The kids were not allowed to have any of it. It was just for me from him. To this day if my kids go into a gas station, they bring me my favorite chocolate candy, that no one can have but me. The watched their dad put me first! It taught them how to be a gentlemen in the process.
Those things are now PRICELESS!!! You have to take care of what the Lord has given you!!! It is up to you to have the best marriage and family you can. You are in control of that. The Lord will bless you for those choices.

O what I wouldn't do to have this all again. I hope you cherish what you have!!!!

Just talking/typing what I feel/think :)

Through the last year and a half, being as open and honest as I can has helped me. I have nothing to hide, so why not put it all out there. Life is full of adventure with 5 kids. I am dealing with a lot with each of them individually. Each one has their own set of issues. Some more challenging than others. I just try to prioritize their needs. Yet, take time for each of them. This hands down was the longest winter of my life. It was extremely depressing. I am glad that Spring is here. I love the sun shining and everything turning green. When I look at God's creation, I can't help but smile. Soccer has started for the kids. I am excited for the games to start. I love to watch each of them have a good time on the field. Each one of them put a big smile on my face. They have their moments of putting that occasional frown on my face as well. LOL We are hanging in there. I am ready to move out of this stage of my life. But, it is all still in God's timing not mine. I wish God would just send me a glimpse into my future. I would love to see what is a head. Well maybe haha I might be more scared if I knew. I am not sure where or what God is doing in and through my life. I want to be used by Him. I want people to see that my God is amazing in and through me. There are days that I would love to speak and others I think NO WAY, because of fear. In my walk with God there are days that I don't feel Him. There are days I totally see His hand on me and my family. I wish I could say when serving God, you will be a steady stream. But, it is not true. Every day is a challenge and a fight to overcome the obstacles of life. We fight not for what is here on earth, but that which is waiting for us in heaven. I am excited to get there one day!!!!

Cherishing your spouse!!!!!!

This subject is really on my heart.....

So often when we are married, we take for granted what we have. As women we want to change our spouse. We say to make them better. I say it is because we want to make them what we want them to be not what God wants them to be. We tell them how things need to be done (our way). We look at their actions and judge there motives. Yet, we don't take the time to ask them their reasoning. We make all of the time during the day for our children and forget the NEEDS of our spouse. We claim that we are to tired. I am not talking all about sex. I am also talking about making sure that they are taken care of. We forget that when they go to work they are taking care of us. They come home and we want to immediately give them the kids so we can run. Forgetting that they have had a very long day at their job. Then we get mad/frustrated with them because they are not responding to our commands like we think they should. WOW! I know I had moments of all of these.

I think we have gotten things somewhat wrong. I believe that we have become a very selfish nation in our marriages. We want things to go our way and we want to be the one right. And to prove why we are right. We want to change the bad and the ugly in our spouse. Forgetting God created them. We loved them. We knew what we were getting into (most of us anyway). We have made the choice to look at the flaws of our spouse instead of looking past the things/characteristics that we don't like. Marriage shouldn't be all about us. We have to change the way we are looking at it. I believe that submission is a huge issue. We view submission as a negative thing. Saying we are not going to be controlled by our spouse. I don't believe that is what submission is. Do we or are we controlled by God. No He gives us the choice in our actions. I think that submission to our spouse is what God wants. Meaning...... Lisa Bevere says submission is under the same mission, 2 people working together for one cause! Just as we submit to God we need to submit to our husbands in the same way. I also think that we need to start taking our eyes off of our needs and looking to our spouses needs. There is something that happens when you look at the needs of someone else. All of a sudden your needs don't seem to carry as much weight in your eyes. I believe God will honor a spouse that becomes a servant to their spouse over one who makes their needs above all. I am not saying to be a slave to your spouse. Just start doing things for them out of the kindness and love of your heart.

I know some might say that is easier said than done. Right! Some might say but my husband is not meeting any of my needs. I completely understand. I still will stick to my guns on this one. Become a servant to your spouse regardless of what they are going to do to you. Love them with the same love that Christ has for you. A love that doesn't hold a grudge or have limits. Tell them how much they mean to you. A man LOVES his ego stroked. Build him up with your words. Give him a note and hide it where he will get it later in the day. Greet him with an amazing hug and kiss when he gets home. LOVE HIM!!!!! You made a covenant before God!!!! Take care of that covenant!!

You might ask why am I writing this? Because I MISS BEING ABLE TO SHARE MY LOVE!!!! You will not understand my longing for this. Yet, if you were to loose them, you would regret not putting them 2nd to God in your life. I am very thankful that I have no regrets in my marriage. But, Scott and I both worked very hard to make sure our love NEVER faded. That doesn't mean that we didn't fight or have struggles. It just means that we never let the sun go down while we were angry. Marriage is a struggle. You are going to have to fight. If satan can tear your marriage apart he has not only gotten to you and your spouse but now to your kids. I believe that the marriages are under attack! It is time as the women of the house to start taking back what is being taken from us. We/You can't give up. Don't look back and regret not showing your man how special he is to you!!!!!

WOW! :)

Wow it has been a long time since I have been on here. Where am I right now in my life? I am very busy with 5 kids haha. I just signed up the 3 older kids for soccer. I just found out that I am going to be the one coaching the younger kids. I am kind of excited. Coltin is going to have a hard time not being able to play like the rest of them. I am going to have to find a way to keep him occupied. Grace just moved up in gymnastics and Christian is starting to walk. I can not believe that he is going to be 1 and Coltin is going to be 3. How time flies.

As for me..... I am hanging in there. I am seeking the Lord. I want to be in His will for my life. I don't want to waver in that area of my life. I find that it really is hard. God never said that this walk of faith was going to be an easy one. God has been telling me to trust him and not my circumstances. What I see around me, may look impossible, but God does the impossible. I live with a peace that comes from everyone praying. Thank you. I am ready to date. I am not sure I am ready to get married. LOL It is very difficult to have a mind set, of a life time commitment with someone. Then to suddenly have to change that mind set to freedom again. You would think one would like that. Me, not so much. I am not liking this stage in my life at all. I don't like trying to figure out if someone likes me or if I like them. I liked the security of my life commitment with my husband. But, in order to have that commitment I am going to have to go through this stage in my life. UGH hahha I still try to find the blessings of life. It is not hard once I take my eyes off of my situation and look at what the Lord has blessed me with. I am beginning to love life again. It has been a long road. But I am making it. I have said from the beginning I am a survivor and I will fight my way to the end.

Bum Day!

Today would have been Scott's 35th birthday. I am feeling kind of numb at the first thought. I am still extremely sad. I know that I will always miss him. I will never understand what God is doing. I wish I could see beyond the day at hand. I miss all of the crazy things that he would do. We really did have the best time together. He was so priceless to me! I thought that I had more to say, but when I started typing.... nothing :(

Sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball and cry. Stomp my feet, kick scream and yell. Walk away and never look back. I know that is not the answer. I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY CHILDREN EVER EVER!!! However, it would be such a lie to pretend that life is a bed of roses. I don't like nor do I know how to live this life that God gave me. To have the most amazing marriage and to be totally in love just to have it ripped out from under you in a 30 min period, is almost more than I can take. Some tell me at least I have loved. I think it is equally as bad to have never loved at all. When you find true love, it is the greatest thing in the world. And when you loose it, you will long for it again. I see different people around me that have divorced a bad situation and are content with being alone. Sometimes I long to be in that contentment. I know the bible says to be content in all areas. But, I really don't know if I can be content in this area of my life. I know what amazing love is with our heavenly father, as well as with a spouse. I long to have that love again. I know my situation is not normal. It is not every day that a women with 5 kids goes on the "market" again after 12 years. People around me tell me God wouldn't take the man of my dreams and not give me someone equally as good. But I can't help but think in my head, I didn't think God would do this to me. How can I be so confident in that statement. I do know that God has a plan for my life. I am longing to see all of this trial used for his glory. I just ache inside so bad. I don't understand and want to find purpose in it all. I am determined to press on to receive the prize. I can only hope and pray that the Lord would grant me the peace and patience to wait for what and who he has for me. Because the thought of dating turns my stomach. Not because I am not ready to love again, but because I would have to put my heart out there.

Thanks for letting me unload.....

There is freedom for believers.

Though I am about to state that there is freedom in Christianity, there is also laziness.

In 1Corinthians 10:23-33

:23 "Everything is permissible- but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible-but not everything is constructive." NIV

:23 Looking at it on way, you could say, "Anything goes. Because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster" But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well but our foremost efforts should be to help other live well. The Message

I do believe that there is freedom in our christian walk. I think that is why God gave us his grace. Romans 3:23-24 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

Romans 6:1-2 "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We died to sin how can we live in it any longer."

I think that to many christians are justifying their walk under God's grace. I think it is important to state that living on the edge is not going to get you into the kingdom. Rev. 3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm neither hot nor cold I am about to spit you our of my mouth."

God doesn't want us to live on the edge of our christian walk. We would like us to "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" Heb. 12:1-2a. We need to set every hinderance aside. Not only for our own good, but for the good of others. 1 Cor. 10:32a "Do not cause anyone to stumble".

"But except for these special cases. I'm not going to walk around on eggshells worrying about what small-minded people might say. I'm going to stride free and easy, knowing what our large minded Master has already said." 1 Cor. 10:31 The Message.

I liked this version. I think as we walk out our faith we need to be aware of those around us. Not condemned by them. "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." But, as we walk this christian life we should be like Paul in 1Cor. 10:33- 11:1 "For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that thy may be saved. Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ."

One more thing. I do not believe we are going to see God's miracles until we set aside everything that hinders us. I believe that when we start living a sacrificial Christian walk we will then see the miracles of God. We will be ready and prepared for what and when God calls us to action.

My devotion for tonight....

Habakkuk 1:1- 2:3

1:1-4 Habakkuk had been praying and not seeing or hearing God.

1:5 "Look at the Nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."

2:3 "For the revolution awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end, and will not prove false, though it linger, wait for it, it will certainly come and will not delay."

Habakkuk didn't understand what he was seeing around him. It didn't make sense to him. The fighting going on was extremely confusing. So he cried out to God. Pleading with him to change things. God responded with the fact he was going to do something amazing and even if I did tell you, you wouldn't believe me. Habakkuk had to have enough faith in God to wait for the coming revolution. Regardless of the outcome.

In our lives we may not understand what is going on around us. It may look confusing, crazy and not make sense to us. But we have to remind ourselves that God has a plan for each of us. And just maybe, even if he did clue us in on the plan, we wouldn't believe it. We have to remind ourselves that we are going to have to wait for him to reveal his plan. He never said this life was going to be easy. He did say he would always walk with us and never ever leave us!!! Now that is something to be thankful for.

I was preaching to myself in the car...

Is our relationship with the Lord strong enough to with stand tragedy? I have had to come to grips with my relationship. I don't know the answers to the whys and how comes, or even the what. But I do know that God is still God. He is still faithful and amazing. It is time that we take a look at our relationship with the Lord. Are we serving God because of what he does or is doing for us? Or are we serving God because of what he did? He sent his son to die on the cross. A brutal death! We as christians have offered God to people in a way that is all good. It is all about what he is going to do for us if we believe. We tend to present the cross, and jump over it as well. And we are wondering why people are leaving and turning their back on God when tragedy or difficult times strike. I believe it is because we are serving God for what he is doing for our current state. Not for what he has done. We are making christianity about our comfort and not about his kingdom. We forget that God has a plan that is bigger than what we can see. He loves us and is there for us to lean on. We have to trust in him and know that we know HE IS IN CONTROL. Are we truly surrendering to God everything in our lives? Are we prepared to surrender it all in the midst of our trials? One day we will hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" or " depart from me for I never knew you"! I do believe it is about the relationship that gets us to heaven. Are we doing all of the talking and no listening? Are we prepared to hear what he is saying to us? It is time that we look at our relationship with the Lord!!!

Jan. 3 1998 The day I would do it all again, knowing what I know now!

This last month has been a little rough. And now I am coming up on my anniversary Jan. 3. It would have been 12 years. I made it through last year okay. I think I was still in shock. This year, however it is all to real. I am missing so many aspects to marriage. I miss him telling me about his love. I miss the small skin to skin touch. Or, even the talking on the phone while he was a work. He would call just to hear my voice. I loved it. He was my world. I feel a small part of resentment to myself. I feel like I took for granted what I had. I knew I had it good. I just didn't know how AMAZING until he was gone. I look at everyone of the marriages falling around me, and think man SCOTT JETT WAS the greatest husband/father. We did cherish each other. I miss telling him he was the man of my dreams. Every time he acted shocked. It didn't matter that I told him almost every night. He loved to hear it. I also loved to hear how sexy he thought I was. I had the greatest husband in the world!!! No one can convince me differently. I also have completely different odd feelings. I miss Scott Jett like CRAZY!!! I was committed to him till the end. The end being our entire lives. Not just 11 years. I was in it for the long haul. He treated me amazing. I was his princess that he couldn't get enough of. Now a little over a year later.... I am thinking about dating. No, I am thinking about the man of my dreams at 31. I want to find him. So here I am thinking about the possibility of another man in my life and yet I know I will never get over the greatest man I have ever known. Talk about mess with your head. These thoughts will, I a sure you. I am looking at it like this... When you have your first baby you are so in love, and you don't think that you can ever love another child like that the same. But then, you have your second (in my case third, forth, and fifth) and you love them just the same. If I was to loose on of my children I would always mourn their loss and remember them. I feel the same about another man entering into my life. I am hoping and praying that the Lord will send the man of my dreams at 31 to me. I am hoping that my theory is correct and I will love him with the same love I had for Scott and my kids. It is an unconditional love that lasts forever no matter what happens or comes our way!!!!!