Thursday, February 25, 2010

WOW! :)

Wow it has been a long time since I have been on here. Where am I right now in my life? I am very busy with 5 kids haha. I just signed up the 3 older kids for soccer. I just found out that I am going to be the one coaching the younger kids. I am kind of excited. Coltin is going to have a hard time not being able to play like the rest of them. I am going to have to find a way to keep him occupied. Grace just moved up in gymnastics and Christian is starting to walk. I can not believe that he is going to be 1 and Coltin is going to be 3. How time flies.

As for me..... I am hanging in there. I am seeking the Lord. I want to be in His will for my life. I don't want to waver in that area of my life. I find that it really is hard. God never said that this walk of faith was going to be an easy one. God has been telling me to trust him and not my circumstances. What I see around me, may look impossible, but God does the impossible. I live with a peace that comes from everyone praying. Thank you. I am ready to date. I am not sure I am ready to get married. LOL It is very difficult to have a mind set, of a life time commitment with someone. Then to suddenly have to change that mind set to freedom again. You would think one would like that. Me, not so much. I am not liking this stage in my life at all. I don't like trying to figure out if someone likes me or if I like them. I liked the security of my life commitment with my husband. But, in order to have that commitment I am going to have to go through this stage in my life. UGH hahha I still try to find the blessings of life. It is not hard once I take my eyes off of my situation and look at what the Lord has blessed me with. I am beginning to love life again. It has been a long road. But I am making it. I have said from the beginning I am a survivor and I will fight my way to the end.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Bum Day!

Today would have been Scott's 35th birthday. I am feeling kind of numb at the first thought. I am still extremely sad. I know that I will always miss him. I will never understand what God is doing. I wish I could see beyond the day at hand. I miss all of the crazy things that he would do. We really did have the best time together. He was so priceless to me! I thought that I had more to say, but when I started typing.... nothing :(