Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Cherishing your spouse!!!!!!

This subject is really on my heart.....
So often when we are married, we take for granted what we have. As women we want to change our spouse. We say to make them better. I say it is because we want to make them what we want them to be not what God wants them to be. We tell them how things need to be done (our way). We look at their actions and judge there motives. Yet, we don't take the time to ask them their reasoning. We make all of the time during the day for our children and forget the NEEDS of our spouse. We claim that we are to tired. I am not talking all about sex. I am also talking about making sure that they are taken care of. We forget that when they go to work they are taking care of us. They come home and we want to immediately give them the kids so we can run. Forgetting that they have had a very long day at their job. Then we get mad/frustrated with them because they are not responding to our commands like we think they should. WOW! I know I had moments of all of these.
I think we have gotten things somewhat wrong. I believe that we have become a very selfish nation in our marriages. We want things to go our way and we want to be the one right. And to prove why we are right. We want to change the bad and the ugly in our spouse. Forgetting God created them. We loved them. We knew what we were getting into (most of us anyway). We have made the choice to look at the flaws of our spouse instead of looking past the things/characteristics that we don't like. Marriage shouldn't be all about us. We have to change the way we are looking at it. I believe that submission is a huge issue. We view submission as a negative thing. Saying we are not going to be controlled by our spouse. I don't believe that is what submission is. Do we or are we controlled by God. No He gives us the choice in our actions. I think that submission to our spouse is what God wants. Meaning...... Lisa Bevere says submission is under the same mission, 2 people working together for one cause! Just as we submit to God we need to submit to our husbands in the same way. I also think that we need to start taking our eyes off of our needs and looking to our spouses needs. There is something that happens when you look at the needs of someone else. All of a sudden your needs don't seem to carry as much weight in your eyes. I believe God will honor a spouse that becomes a servant to their spouse over one who makes their needs above all. I am not saying to be a slave to your spouse. Just start doing things for them out of the kindness and love of your heart.
I know some might say that is easier said than done. Right! Some might say but my husband is not meeting any of my needs. I completely understand. I still will stick to my guns on this one. Become a servant to your spouse regardless of what they are going to do to you. Love them with the same love that Christ has for you. A love that doesn't hold a grudge or have limits. Tell them how much they mean to you. A man LOVES his ego stroked. Build him up with your words. Give him a note and hide it where he will get it later in the day. Greet him with an amazing hug and kiss when he gets home. LOVE HIM!!!!! You made a covenant before God!!!! Take care of that covenant!!
You might ask why am I writing this? Because I MISS BEING ABLE TO SHARE MY LOVE!!!! You will not understand my longing for this. Yet, if you were to loose them, you would regret not putting them 2nd to God in your life. I am very thankful that I have no regrets in my marriage. But, Scott and I both worked very hard to make sure our love NEVER faded. That doesn't mean that we didn't fight or have struggles. It just means that we never let the sun go down while we were angry. Marriage is a struggle. You are going to have to fight. If satan can tear your marriage apart he has not only gotten to you and your spouse but now to your kids. I believe that the marriages are under attack! It is time as the women of the house to start taking back what is being taken from us. We/You can't give up. Don't look back and regret not showing your man how special he is to you!!!!!


  1. Very well said Cori. Submission does not make door mats or punching bags, it makes us servants first to Christ and then to our spouse. People make a distinction between the male role and the female role because Paul says we are to submit and men are to be like Christ is to the church...Christ submitted first to His father. Christ is the ultimate model of submission. My mother told me to remember the little things that I thought were cute when Bill and I were dating would likely get on my nerves later...that stuck with me. She also told me to never part, hang up the phone or go to bed without saying the words "I love you" and meaning them. We do that.

    I pray for you daily, and I am thankful that you can look back on your short time with Scott and have no regrets. God will use the path you are walking, in fact He has already used you. Keep your the eyes of your heart open so you can catch him of (1) using you and (2) blessing you.

  2. Great post - thanks so much for sharing! We are so proud of you; you are altogether lovely!

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  3. Thank you for posting this...I needed to read it :)