I wrote my story out for a website, that is for young widows. Here is what I wrote....

I was called into ministry my Junior year of High School. I started my journey at Central Bible College. It was there that I meet the biggest dork on campus, Scott Jett. He was crazy fun and willing to do anything that made a scene. He was shorter than I was. So, that next to the crazy personality was a no way. But the more that I spent time with him, more I started to fall for him. After hanging out for about 6 mos., we decided that we would date exclusively. It was 6 mos. later that we decided to get married. I had meet the biggest dork on campus and he was now going to be "my" dork. I know that sounds mean. However, if you knew him, you would know he really was just that. We got married on January 3, 1998. From there we headed into youth ministry. We became youth pastors the summer of 1998. That was a journey that was very hard and trying for us to go through. We experienced things that were not what ministry was about. We were getting very discouraged, yet tried to find the light of what God had us going through. During this time we found out that I was pregnant. We had only been married for 9 mos. when we found out. At that point, God told us it was time to move on. Scott, felt like God was calling him to get his masters in counseling. The problems that we were facing in ministry were more than what we could handle on our own. So, we headed to Kansas City to start our family and his masters program. Along the way we started a traveling drama group with the local youth group and added another son. As soon as Scott's masters was complete, we headed to Springfield. It was there that he finished all of his counseling hours. While in Springfield, we added a daughter and another son. Making our total 3 boys and a girl. We were living on a farm. We were city folk gone country over night. He had just started his new journey at Central Bible College in the fall of 2008. He was their Youth Ministries Professor. He loved it!!!!! We just bought a new home, off of the farm. It was 2 weeks after moving in our new home that we found out I was expecting our 5th baby. I had mixed emotions about having another baby. But, Scott was so excited.

During this part of our journey in life we sought God for every move that we made. We made him our number one priority in our lives. We started dreaming and casting vision for what we wanted to do for God. We really wanted to help desperate and hurting youth. We had started being inner room pastors, to help out local churches. We, just wanted to serve. Scott was all about relationships. The more we could make relationships with the local communities the more opportunities we would have to share the gospel with them.

Our family life was the "All American Dream". Really we had everything. We would call each other several times a day, just to say we wanted to hear one another's voice. Anytime Scott would leave he wanted to make sure I was the last one that he would kiss. Even if one of the kids would run outside for another kiss, he would come back inside to kiss me last. He wanted the kids to know that mommy was number one. It was the small things that we did that made the most impact in our marriage. He would always show me his love in front of people. Even if it embarrassed me. He loved to call me his Hottie Momma. He was always complimenting me. The kids and I would go to his word to see him on a regular basis. We would bring him lunch or something sweet. It was short and simple things that we did to show each other we loved one another. During our fights we would always try to attack the problem not each other. That was not always possible, but we tried. Our marriage life was not always easy and glamorous. We did have our spats and frustrations. However, it is how we handled those fights that made us stronger. Over the years our love grew stronger and stronger. Every night before bed Scott would tell me how beautiful I was and how blessed he was to have me. I would always tell him he was the man of my dreams. I know with out a shadow of a doubt that our love was real and strong. We fought for our love!!!

On Friday Sept 5th I was the cool wife. I bought my husband a motorcycle and all of his gear. I showed up in his classroom with all of his gear. He was soooo excited! (He was getting the motorcycle regardless of who bought it for him) That Sunday, we found out that his sister's husband had cancer. It was not a curable type of cancer. That Friday Sept. 12, 2008, Scott came home ready to ride his bike for the first time. He was begging me to let him go ride it. He told me it was only going to be 20 minutes and that he would be right back. I told him his 20 minutes are like 2 hours. He kissed me good bye. Little did I know that was the last kiss that I would get from him. He died 10 mins after that. He hit a car head on. We are not sure what happened. It looked as though he might have had a front tire blow out. That is an answer that I will never have. The kids and I showed up on the scene. I was told what had happened. Instantly, I got the kids out of the car and sat on the side of the road and prayed. I prayed for wisdom and guidance. I then told my kids that Daddy got to go home to be with Jesus. His work here on earth was done. He had told everyone that he was suppose to tell, about Jesus. I then explained to them that we had to finish the work that daddy started. We needed to tell as many people about Jesus and what he has done for us. And once we told everyone that we were suppose to tell, we would get to go be with daddy. And until that day we ARE GOING TO FIGHT for what Jesus did for us and who your daddy was. I felt lead to speak at the funeral. I wanted Scott Jett to go out with a bang. And, I want you to know that he did just that!!! There were a couple of thousand people there. What a blessing and a testimony of who Scott was! I was beaming with pride for the man of my dreams. He would have been so shocked to see the impact that he had on the people that he came in contact with. They had the roads blocked and police escorts for us. AMAZING!

From that point on my life has drastically been changed.

It was 6 weeks after the accident that we found out that my little brother had cancer. It was another fight that we were going to have to fight. He then moved in with my kids and I. There were 3 surgeries that he had to have in a 2 month period. One of those being extremely serious. We found out that he had Hodgkins Lymphoma. Just after we found this news out, we received news that Joyce Meyer was going to come and do a show on my story. That was an amazing experience. I felt like God was giving me a purpose for Scott's death. I felt like his death was being used for God's glory. It empowered me to go on, knowing that God was using this to further his kingdom. It was just after that when we received word that I was going to be given a car from Joyce Meyer Ministries. What a blessing!!!! Who would have thought that all of these things were going to happen to me?

It has been a very blessed road. At the same time, I am in a fight of a life time. I am trying to make sure that my children have an amazing life. I don't want them to have any reason to blame God. I want them to see the blessings that God has given us. I have made sure that their life style stay as much the same as possible. I coached their soccer games the day after the accident. The kids wanted to play for their daddy, who was their coach. So, I made it happen! We went. Not only have I stepped up to help them in their journey, so has this community. They are so well taken care of by everyone that they are going through this process in a healthy way. If I was to say one thing that helped my kids along the way, it would be having them draw as many pictures as the could. Any time they would start crying, I would allow them to cry and when they were done, I would have them draw me a picture. I would have them save those pictures in their "Daddy boxes". Their daddy boxes are for all of the things that remind them of their daddy. Those are just a few of the things that I did for them.

I am very blessed. I don't like where I am at. However, I find joy in where I am at. God never said that this life was going to be easy. He did promise us that He would never leave us nor forsake us. I had to come to grips with why I was serving God. Was I serving him for what He does for me? Or was I serving him because of what He did for me? If God never did another thing for me, was Him sending his son to earth to die on the cross for me, enough for me to serve Him? My answer... YES! No matter what, I will continue to serve my Lord with the best of my ability!!!!

Compromises

Lately has been pretty rough. I have had to watch 2 of my best friends fall from leadership within the church. All of us have seen and watched people who proclaim to be christians, fall. Because of this, so many people that are not strong in their faith, fall. Because of their eyes being on man. When their/our eyes NEED to be on God. "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord." Jer. 17:5 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Jer. 17:7
The bible talks about the very elect falling away. The very elect being the very strong christian. We ask how does that happen? Why does such an amazing, Godly man or women fall? We say they preached the word and with conviction. How? Why? "In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who GUARDS HIS SOUL stays far from them." Prov. 22:5 We have got to guard our walk with the Lord. "DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD." Eph. 4:27 The definition of a foothold is this.... a secure position from which further progression may be made. Let me give you another word.... COMPROMISE. We all think that a small compromise is no big deal. Which at that point in our walk with the Lord, it may not be. However, when we add continually to those compromises, the load at which we carry becomes extremely heavy. We carry the load of our compromises as we try to follow the Lord. We continue to think we can have the best of both worlds. We think we can walk the fence line and get away with it. "So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you our of my mouth." Rev. 3:16 The fact of the matter is, that we keep adding compromises to our walk. Before we know it we are walking on our knees. Then we are laying on the ground and we can't get up. All of a sudden we realize that we have lost our salvation. The sad part, we have no idea at what point we lost it. We don't know when, we stopped relying on the Lord and relied on ourselves.
Here is another revelation for you.... We are no better than the elect that are falling away from the Lord. They are no better than we are. We are all on the same playing ground. The only difference, is the compromises that we guard or allow into our lives. For the one that guards his relationship with the Lord will have eternal life. And the one that doesn't live a repentant life, will not inherit the kingdom of God. The next question is how do we respond to the one that has fallen? Regardless of how extreme the sin might be. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, "I repent, FORGIVE HIM." Luke 17:3-4 So the answer is FORGIVE and treat them with kindness and love and respect. "Those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline." Rev. 3:19 In this scripture it says I, meaning God. It doesn't say YOU! God's punishment and discipline is far greater and more effective than what we could ever do. When we put YOU in place of I, IT WILL DAMAGE THE PERSON! I don't want to get to heaven and have God tell me... If you would have left well enough alone, and treated them with kindness and love, "THEY" would have made it to heaven. Our lashing out at people who sin and repent, is because we have feelings that have been hurt. And when back bitting enters, people get hurt and some loose their salvation. All because our feelings were hurt. We have to let God do is job and we need to do our job.... PRAY!!!! Anger, back bitting and malicious talk, only get in the way of what God is trying to do. He is trying to make sure that each one of us ENTER THE KINGDOM!!!! Let him do the work and we need to stop trying to be god. We are human hands. When someone looses their salvation it can only be fixed by God's hands. Our prayers, love and kindness is what will help. I hope I have made since and helped all of you (I am talking to myself too) along this journey called life... Our christian life!!!!

A friend asked me to talk about Marriage and Family life.

One of the things that I have had to deal with is; God never said this life was going to be easy. He did promise us that he would never leave us or forsake us. The pace of our lives are so out of control. We are juggling so many aspects to our marriages and families.
Sports
Music Lessons
Homework
Laundry
Dishes
Sweeping/mopping/dusting
Doctors/dentist offices
Grocery shopping
One on one time with our kids
church
When we look at all of these things that we do on a daily basis (and so many more); we tend to forget and over look our time with our spouse. We so often give our kids priority over our lives that we neglect our spouse. We wonder why conversation is low. We don't understand why we don't have a sexual desire anymore. Let me let you in on a little secret.... You/we have neglected to spend quality one on one with our spouse. We have lost sight of the relationship that needs the most care. We have viewed our kids as the "needy" ones. When we need to change our focus. It needs to be on our MARRIAGES!!! It is the relationship that takes the most work, yet is the most rewarding. We take care of our kids way before we take care of our man. Yet, our kids are not going to see a health marriage being first. They are going to see a healthy marriage when they know that mommy and daddy are willing to put each other above them. It is going to take effort on your part. I believe that we should be a servant to our spouse. I didn't say a slave. A servant is someone who chooses to serve. I believe that love is a choice not a feeling. In the same manor servanthood is a choice. When we become a servant we take care of the one we are serving. This aspect goes for both men and women.
Going on about all of the things we need to do in a day, I purposely left out the most important thing. Our walk with the Lord HAS GOT TO BE NUMBER ONE!!!!!! We have got to make sure that we are spending time with Him. God has to be priority above all else. When He is first, all else will fall into place. He will give us the strength and patience that we need to get through every day.
Just thinking about all of the pressure we have just in a day, is overwhelming. Yet we do it day in and day out. It becomes routine and we don't think about it. I am saying that we need to think about what we are doing everyday. Making sure that our relationship with the Lord is taken care of, and that our spouse's needs are met. Let me a sure you that our children will not be neglected by putting God or our spouse ahead of them. They will benefit and profit from those relationships!!!
One story.... Before my husband died this is what he did everyday. Any time he would leave the kids and I, he would kiss everyone and I was ALWAYS last. That meant if he was out to the car and a kid ran to get another kiss, he got out and came back inside to kiss me last. That may sound silly. But my kids knew that mommy was first in daddy's life. They remember him doing that to this day. It made an impression on them!!! They saw the security in our relationship.
Here is another one.... Anytime Scott would go into a gas station he would always bring me out my favorite chocolate candy. The kids were not allowed to have any of it. It was just for me from him. To this day if my kids go into a gas station, they bring me my favorite chocolate candy, that no one can have but me. The watched their dad put me first! It taught them how to be a gentlemen in the process.
Those things are now PRICELESS!!! You have to take care of what the Lord has given you!!! It is up to you to have the best marriage and family you can. You are in control of that. The Lord will bless you for those choices.

O what I wouldn't do to have this all again. I hope you cherish what you have!!!!